Even the ugliest man in the world has a wife. So do you think that the photos you upload, or the bio you write really is the key to finding a partner? Do you think that the reason you get no matches on tinder is because of how you look?

Well the answer is kind of a Yes… because people basically just judge you by your photos... but its not the only factor. And more importantly its probably not as important as you think to being happy with yourself and your relationships.

What I want to talk about today is the real reason that you are not getting the success you want on Tinder, and it has to do with how the platform delivers its dating experience.

Tinder girl vs guy ratio

One of the main aspects of tinder which dominates the experience is the girl vs guy ratio. There are significantly more guys then girls on tinder. This, combined with the ability to match with people, instantly message them, and only have some basic information - such as how they look - leads to a few problems with the dating experience.

How many more guys are using tinder then girls? Tinder won’t say of course, but with other dating apps I have found between 2-10 times as many guys in some of the cities around the USA and Canada. What this leads to is more competition and a harder time for the average guy to actually match with a girl and go on a date. But its not just bad for men - it ends up being equally as bad for women as well. The reason is because it leads to changes in behaviour from both sexes. Men tend to start swiping right much more often, and trying to set up a date with any women they can. Women, on the other hand start to become much more selective and it means that they have tons of options on who to date.

However - just because women have more options, does not mean they have it easier. In fact, having to choose between more options in any aspect in life - especially when its something important like a life partner - has been shown to lead to a decrease in overall happiness.

What? How can having more options on who to date lead to less happiness and a worse experience? You can watch Dan Gilberts study on options and happiness, but I can sum it up for you in a few words. More options leads to less happiness because you will be disappointed that you did not select the best option when given the chance, and this will lead to regret and other negative thoughts and emotions.

Another factor is that because the women have more options, they must now filter these options. All they really have is photos to go by, and since lots of guys will be messaging them (who normally wouldn’t if there were more girls using the app) they have to make sure to find the right guy in amidst everyone. They have much more work to do, and the app becomes tiring, and they end up stop trying or talking to guys because it takes a lot of work.

One way it affects guys is through their attitude, and how it changes when using tinder. Some guys get frustrated that girls can so easily ignore them and have so many options, and they may start to get angry or upset about their success and end up taking it out on their matches. I have also seen this happen quite often and leads to even less women using tinder, and bad dating experiences for everyone.

All of these things combined lead to a disastrous experience. Lot of work for women, potential regret for not selecting the right guys to date, potential abuse, and guys that are so indispensable that it is difficult to find someone to fully commit to them when its so easy to find someone slightly better. Altogether it means less dates for everyone, and an illusion that you just need to keep swiping, or keep going on dates until you find the right person. In reality it is the experience that is flawed, and not leading to the results that it could.

Solutions To More Quality Matches

For guys I recommend optomizing your Tinder dating strategy, and diversifying into other online/offline strategies as well. For optimizing your tinder dating strategy you can check out my post on How to get more matches and use Tinder Auto Swiper to do this. You can use Tinder Auto Swiper to automatically swipe for you so that you will just get matches when they come, and then decide if you actually want to talk with the girls you match with. When you are not emotionally invested in the app and have many other avenues of meeting people it because easier. Start going and doing the things you want to do and developing a network of friend or people you like to hang out with and this will make it easier to find someone. Additionally you can try different dating apps, and go to events in the real world to meet people the old fashioned way ;)

For women, if you are struggling to get matches, we also recommend checking out our post on How to get more matches. If you are tired of the dating experience, we recommend using Tinder Auto Swiper in short bursts, as its possible to get overwhelmed with the number of matches quickly. However the Location changing feature for women can be a great tool to meet new people when moving, going on vacation, or simply if you have a travelling job and want to swipe in certain locations. Other then getting and filtering more matches, there is little you can do to prevent fatigue, boredom, or unpleasant experiences that come with the Tinder model. Once again, don't rely 100% on tinder but join clubs, go out with friends, join meetups, and diversify your dating strategy to include getting out in the real world as well.

Thanks for reading everyone!